Why am I doing this to myself?

Is it because I'm in denial?

That I can't accept that I'm also desperate of love...

Yet I'm also scared of what will I become because of it...

I think once I fall in love.. I loose myself..

I'll give in to what the world wants, I'll become a Mother.. my mind does not want to see my child suffer in this world. 

And that I'm too helpless to help him..


But my spirit is saying God is the one who controls life and death.. He has a purpose and that HE have a reason in everything that is happening to me and to the world...

Tho I'm pretty aware the world is ending..

Can I afford to bring forth another being under my DNA to witness it?

But I'm pretty sure I need to stop what I'm doing now because it is making me paranoid because I'm anxious of hiding and covering it..

Help me God!

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